If the crown fits
by Mary D. Black2000
Summary: SI/OC I was a girl, don't remember much more than that. My name is Robert now but you can call me Bobbie, not that anyone does. I know GOT, never read the books but I know enough about them because of fan fiction and other sources. I know could change things, maybe introduce some advanced thecnology but I was just a high schooler back then, so I decided to just live my life.
1. Chapter 1

262 AC

I was born during a stormy night, but those were nothing special in the Storm Lands, they had that name for a reason.

I would like to say that my birth was nothing special but I was born as the first born son of the Lord Paramount of the Stormlands and apparently that's kind of a big deal around here.

I can't complain really, I'm rich, powerful and if my parents' appearances are to be relied on then I'm going to grow up to be quite good looking. If only this second chance had made me a girl again I would be all for it? This is going to suck.


	2. Chapter 2

267 AC

Fuck being a girl!

Seriously, what was I thinking when I wished to have my previous life's gender back? I have become quite attached to my dick now, thank you very much. Specially since I just met Aerys fucking Targaryen! AND his son Creepy eyed Rhaegar; how could anyone believe him sane is beyond me, he is always lost in thought and has this blank stare when you talk to him.

Mother tells me I have no manners but this creep isn't much better, the first thing he told me when we met was.

"Did you know that if you had been a girl, you and I would have been betrothed?" He said this with a tiny smile on his lips while looking past me in what I assumed was a melancholic pose.

...

Did I mention how much I love my dick?


	3. Chapter 3

267 AC

Sooo... I may have been a little too hard on the kid.

He isn't really that bad once you get to know him, a little too quiet and has a habit of spacing out but we managed to bond on our shared love for history, I tried to sneak us into the stables to practice riding but we were caught and very harshly scolded by our mothers.

And let me tell you, mother may be an Estermont by birth but she embodies the Baratheon's words of "Ours is the fury." Also, the Queen is super scary too!

We ended up having to help clean the stables for a week, smelling like horse shit all the while. As if the city didn't stink enough.

At least I got the kid to laugh, it was a mall laugh but his face illuminated and changed completely. He's a cute kid...

Still creepy though.


	4. Chapter 4

267 AC

I have done something I could never imagine would be possible, this must be black magic. I call sorcery! Rhollr, is this your doing?! Answer me you sadistic bitch!

Apparently my cute innocent self has gained the favor of the most insane and unpredictable character of this franchise, Aerys Mother Fucking Targaryen just offered my father to foster me here in King's Landing!

Hell no! I'm going to the Eary and meet little Ned, I'm not going to stay in court playing mind games and fearing for my life at every moment, I can barely sleep well as it is and it's only been a month of us staying here!

Fortunately the King isn't as insane as I imagined and actually understood my father's reasons to refuse.

But apparently Aerys had been taken with the idea of fostering and a week later he announced that at the age of two and ten Rhaegar would too foster at the Eary.

Dammit!


	5. Chapter 5

267 AC

Six months, for six fucking months I have been living in this shit hole with only the creepy prince for company. And most of my time I spent it at the yard, because you can only read so much about the insane history of Westeros before you become as mad as all of the Targaryens, and yes I am pretty sure all of them were mad one way or another.

But I will finally be free, because we are returning home!

Good bye King's Landing! I hope to never see you again, and that you get blown up with wildlifire by one of your insane monarchs!


	6. Chapter 6

268 AC

Stannis was a cute baby, key word is **_was_**.

Now he is whining like a little bitch because he can't train with me.

"I told you already, that you are too little!" I ended up yelling at the 4 years old in frustration.

"You are little too!" He yelled back and crossed his tiny arms over his chest with a stubborn look on his face.

Just like trying to reason with a skagosi unicorn,.

I hate children.


	7. Chapter 7

272 AC

Well, there are good news and bad news.

The good news is that I'm finally going to the Eary, yay!

The bad news is that Prince McDreamy is coming with me, the kid got attached apparently.

Not to mention the King´s orders, the man was surprisingly not as insane as the rumors said.

He wasn't burning people alive, at least.

…well, not random people or petty criminals.

I´m a glass half full kind of guy.


End file.
